Its been a while since i could hear my own voice again....

Well to be precise i have quit my job. Salsa is the new reason to smile and keeps me going. Some new hiccups and lots of delusional stuff but then i guess the timing couldn't be better to start all over gain and re-invent what the world calls as "Chirag".

To begin with my silence over all that's happening and my reaction to it as well here is a small passing by thought....

Its been a while since i felt this alone
Alone though with so much happening around
Life of all sorts- sweet & nice, irritating yet distracting
Keeping me engrossed every single day & night

Life that is like two worlds for me
Balanced finely along one another
One incomplete, unfulfilled without the other
One filling the stomach, the other the heart

It always happens that one world goes down
The other somehow trying to stabilize
Pulling both up isnt easy and i sometimes fumble
Get bruised, abandoned, left alone to cry, wake up alone

There is so much more to do and never enough to say
Every moment that passes by i wonder why
I end up changing my house or the paint on my walls
Why i change my pair of shades every time i need to look up????

I wish i can tell someone that i live, i like to laugh
That i too fall down and that i don't need anyone's support
But once i am up i need you not to stare me in the face
Rather look pleased at my return and hug me tight....

Wish you didn't run away at the first sight of my fall. Its just a matter of time i stood up and never looked better. Only if you had waited....

Why so Serious????-Part2

First of all a big sorry to all as i have just never been around. Even now all i could do is post this new one. Recession has hit me bad but i aint complaining, i m still fighting. Salsa'a a real boon during these time. My classes have swelled up. Life’s been not so bad in fact very good. Every time I have tried to create chaos and wreck havoc further to whatever damage already done, I have repeatedly been blessed with a fresh start, a new launch-pad. Here’s a new take on the poem, “Why so Serious????”. This time it’s me and my life talking to each other….

I have loved you right from when you were born

Giving you a destiny carved with sensitivity and care

You have been my favorite pupil

For only you understood my underlying true ideology

I am harsh for most, soft for a blessed few

People call me names but I don’t care a damn

They chose me each time they changed tracks to go forward

I might have been unfair, sad, harsh maybe even boring

I never decided what becomes of them when they grow up

Who did they meet or whom they fell in love with

Whom did they idolize, who ended up being despicable

All these were their decisions, don’t put it on me!!!!

Why blame me when the sky turns dark

When they miss the bus or fail in class

When they get rejected or when they are left alone

It’s their doing, own it or else fell good sticking it on me

Had they thought of it when they gave it their best shot

Of all that could go wrong, things that may fall apart

They would have been less affected, less pissed at me

But they were optimistic for it’s a virtue of the great

Ever thought what a pessimist but with brains would be like

A clever planned guy- opinionated but shrewd

For he would picture it at its worst before surging ahead

That way he would feel less jittered when it falls apart

They would call him names, talk behind his back

Constantly put him down, never giving him a chance

But he’s much beyond what you think, clever and smart

Not modest but well prepared, for he will always take me head on

He still does feel sad though mostly glad

For he knew things were rosy a bit far too long

Troubles and tensions would just come along

He’s prepared; he will just smile and put them aside.

No wonder he’s my muse, my blue-eyed boy

He will throng to achieve what most don’t bother to

The hunger in him so big that it can drown many like you

Because he knows me well, he will follow through

He will stand up every time he falls down

Start again every time I shun him down

Never say enough is enough because more will come

Keep running from time for that’s his worst enemy

I am talking to him now and I am sure he knows

Son you are a gem, a one in a million

I know I bruised you again but gather yourself like you always do

Wipe your tears, brush away your woes for a new day is waiting

Waiting for you to start your hunt again, time to move on

Look up and smile, “Why so Serious????”

Part 4: Hawaii Chappal....

After a while i thought i bring the old favorites back. Here's a Hawaii Chappal soap opera fro you guys....

I am the handy bathroom slipper
Thanklessly called the Hawaai Chappal
Wonder how I got that name
When I haven’t been to Hawaai nor Portugal

I come in all colours red, purple and blue
With most brands listing me in their ensemble
From Bata to Lakhani, Relaxo to Liberty
Even Reebok and Coverse all stacked in a bundle

If u ask me I would say I am cheap
Never an exhibitionist, just modestly fashionable
Look at me and u will know my owner’s worth
My oh My is that any more arguable????

You would buy a Jimmy Choo or a Gucci shoe
Even an expensive dress to go along with it
With me you don’t need anything at all
Isnt that proof enough- U Dumbwit!!!!

Try sumthing else while u take a bath
Or on a stroll post dinner to get lighter
Try sittin with heels while relieving urself
& u would know my comfort- U Sinner!!!!

Don’t wear me & u shall be barefooted
Making your feet weary and full of cracks
Leave me unattended at parks or temples
I’l be stolen from right under your tracks

I am the weapon of the Indian woman
Be it against husbands or perverted souls
The must haves of politicians & noblemen
M d symbol of power either intact or wid holes

You might be a spoilt scion or a business tycoon
Having private jets, wives, cars to a house beachside
But if you have a broken, tattered and plastered ME
You might be like a King but a stupid pauper inside

The wonderful individual....

Well based on my last mail many perceived it as a blooming 9yr relationship that’s still there or just about there. I don’t want to say anything and would leave it to the readers to judge from this poem that’s on her titled what you have heard before- “Honey not this time, maybe some other time!”

Its this wonderful person i know for almost 9 yrs now....

Went to meet someone, found her by chance,
She was busy with her stuff and noisy antics.
I tried hard ignoring still unknowingly glance;
She’s so much like a kid, patienceless and frantic.

Thinking of her was giving me a sweet tension,
Ate dinner somehow but the night went sleepless.
All I thought was of how to get her attention
Rolled in bed the entire night, I kept feeling restless.

I start off with being a friend off course,
Listening to her woes and despair.
Helped her around with things and chores,
All the while wishing we could be a pair!

Got her to eventually accept me as the one,
And take my heart finally close to hers.
Her shortlived attention was not serious but fun,
Only to end it after a few coffees and dinners.

I am heartbroken, clueless with noone around.
I try everywhere for some support, maybe a friend
Regurgitating my loss to many but only to frown,
Each night crying in bed was the usual trend.

One year later when I am free and somewhat healed,
She calls me one early morning prior to sunshine.
I talk to her listening to her woes & some hidden greed;
She promising to be mine for her entire lifetime.

I took her back not realizing what is in store,
I was just a prop, maybe an arm candy some time.
For everyone I was her mere friend, nothing more
All I saw her doing, was enjoying her new lifeline.

I confront her by asking if this is what she meant?
When she said she would be mine now onwards.
“I am but not for the world to know” is what she vents,
Wanting to be free, not labeled with names and words.

I left her to herself for I knew her mind too well.
The fault not being hers, she’s only a kid-too confused
I am the best she’s ever had; to everyone she tells,
But to accept me as a reality she shamelessly refused.

Time passed by and to finally forget it all is what I chose.
When she again came back, this time not single but coupled;
Tells me of a guy who’s awesome & the first one so close.
Love, sex but no apparent future, I stood silent but confused!

She moved on, lost faith in love but not in herself,
I was still perplexed, surprised at her rare selfless stint.
”What goes around comes around” I told to myself,
Still she learnt nothing from this, not a tear not a glint.

She soon got someone new, but again letting it pass by,
Realising they were bad choices, never worth, all the same.
To friends she recalled me as the best she came by,
Still never letting me be anywhere close to her last name.

We are still friends and I let her play her little game,
She still continues to tell me how much I mean to her
I stay aloof, avoiding hurt but respect being the same,
Enjoy playing along, though never over-feeling for her.

The jist of the story is not too complex but simple,
If its your first love, your mind literally goes blank.
Your heart would dive in this ocean of false hopes,
Leaving yourself repeatedly floating just on a plank.

The problem in my case is what happens forever always,
Just when I feel the coast is near & she will finally be mine.
She would scatter my hopes and dissect my mental forays,
Saying cutely as ever-“Honey not this time, maybe some other time!!!!”

Just FYI she also is the very first para of my poem Why so Serious???? Hoping now i wont be seeing some sweet remarks like- Oh so sweet 9 yrs, gosh thats so grt and stuff....

Honey not this time, maybe some other time….

One phone call one fine day from a soul so dear to me
She says “Shall we run away? Shall we get lost in the wilderness??”
My heart raced at the idea but somewhere I knew her reputation
Still letting it be as it’s always been allowing my mind to let her play with
We plan a date and a time, getting down to finalizing check points
Total distance to be covered, where to meet, how to go forward
Scramble for flight tickets, bus tickets to the next destination
What about hotel she asks, I say leave it to me. Bus is done, check the flight!
I slowly get into the reminiscent goosebumpy mood, like the very first time
I am already there in the moment as if the journey has begun finally….
I search for hotels, find some great discount rates, ask her to start packing
She is nervous but excited says how am I gonna wake up this early
I say don worry I will wake u up like always. She smiles then just nudges
What about the return journey? I say we’l manage but she latches on to it
No we are cutting too fine. It won’t work Chirag!
It’s all your fault, we could have planned better. Don’t u ever say that I don’t try,
I did this time and you didn’t plan it well.
All I said laughingly was that- “Doll I lived my journey in the last three hours that we spoke on phone, looked for buses and hotels, hearing ur excitement and last of all your never-ending last minute confusion. I loved it and I am thankful to you for it. U take care and sleep tight. Muah gudnite….”

It’s been 9 yrs now and it’s the same old story that repeats with her. Now I just laugh over it, getting the cute feeling but only to the point of smiling nothing else. She’s always having her pet line- Honey not this time, maybe some other time….

A poem on this individual comin next....

Part 3: Yours hygienically, the gentle toothbrush

Taking from where i last left here's another in the interesting object grievance series.-The gentle toothbrush....

Yours hygienically, the gentle toothbrush

I am the ever useful gentle toothbrush
Use me to make your teeth shiny and bright
Every morning & before you go to bed at night
Remember using me else ur teeth wont stay white

I come for all ages big and small
In different colours, shapes and size
Taught down generations to all first time users
How to use me is an art so very concise

Toddlers prefer me as colourful as possible
Shaped in as a fairy or like Scooby Doo
Sometimes I am like Batman or Spiderman
Sometimes even as Mickey or Winnie d Pooh

For grown ups I am more like a chore
Embedded somewhere in their pea little brain
Each morning use me nicely & well
Or have your mouth stink like a drain

The mouths I go in are just seldom nice
Mostly having yellow teeth and an awful stench
Sweets, gum, chicken and u name it, all that junk
Nicely stuck in their forever horrid toothy fence

They would then pay a lot to some weirdo of a guy
To help fill the cavities and scale out the tar
He would use silver and gold but fill up the holes
Even pull out a tooth sometimes going a tad bit too far

He wouldn’t spare u till ur jaw’s open wide
From paste to floss, from wat to eat & wat not to
He would advise a lot, even request u to come often
So dat u care for ur teeth which u never gotto!

But it all goes in vain d moment he’s done talkin
Once we are out of his prison, we only wishfully ignore
Back to wat we loved eating- junk & more junk
The worst for the last-Sweets & chocolates galore

I wish the humans could be a bit more concerned
And use a lot more of what is there in their head
To use me and become more attractive and charming
To treat me as a friend, not as a punishment instead.

P.S. Kindly someone tell the idiot the paste is long finished. Can’t the lazy bum go buy a new one? Also please please buy the new Red one. It’s nice and it matches my colour.

Part 2: Yours Cleanfully, Fluffy Towel....

Taking from where i left on my Non-Devdasical bent of mind here's another grievance call this time from your Towel. He's a bit more indirect and hence just highlights the pros and cons and leaves it to you for taking notice. Hope you like it....

Yours Cleanfully, Fluffy Towel....

I am the useful Fluffy Towel,
Use me when you are sweaty or wet
I’l wipe your face nice and clean,
Not a trickle of dirt left, I can bet

Women prefer me soft and wooly
In scarlet red, yellows or baby pink.
For men I come in whites and blues
Pink only if gay, I say with a wink!

I am happy if used only by girls,
For they always stay so clean and fresh.
They wrap me till I am tight and close
Don’t ask me more coz I will blush;)

With guys I am like their underwear.
Their bath’s half-done, still I rub them clean
They leave me unattended on the bed,
Almost like a mop! Oh they are so mean.

I usually last a year or two,
Ladies buying me in sets of three.
For guys only once I am ripped apart;
Lest I rest in peace or given for free.